By Lizalens on 08 October 2010: I wish I’m not alone

Here in my world, it is a very lonely world.

 Why in the world I can’t be a happy girl for a bit longer?

Why can’t I become just like the rest of the girls who live so happy without worry?

 Why can’t I let myself feel a bit happy? Why me?

I tried to run away, but I couldn’t help it.

It is not easy to keep walking on a lonely path you had chose while you yourself knew that this path is not going to be easy and you will always get yourself tripping, falling and struggling to get to your destiny most of the times.

How can I find my way when everything is blank?

I’m scared and still scare to open my eyes. My hands are cold and I feel it is so dark out there. I couldn’t see things or even hear what the other people around me are trying to say.

I feel I am blind and deaf while I am still alive. What I can hear is only my own heartbeat and my hard breath….

I want to open my eyes and see the light in front of me, the light of hopes and happiness, the light that can take me out of the darkness and loneliness, and the light that can bring me back to life.

Loneliness is like a shadow of mine. It sticks with me everywhere I go. I wanted to throw way this loneliness from my life so that I can be free.

I want to say everything in my heart. I want people to hear and know how I feel and what I’ve been thinking the whole time.

I don’t want a perfect friend, I just want a friend.

I told myself that this loneliness is just a temporary feeling, I am going to be alright, and I’ll be okay very soon.

I wish I didn’t lie myself…….. I wish I’m honest with myself….. I wish I’m okay.